Goals for this Year

I didn't expect to abandon this blog for two months, but there it is. My goals are fairly simple for this year.

• Find balance between my work and my family life.
• Take some time for me to improve my health and temperament.

I learned a lot on my vacation. I learned that if I do a guided relaxation for fifteen minutes a day, I am a better mother, wife, and teacher. I learned that if I work out on my treadmill three days a week, I feel better and I'm better able to keep up with a demanding two year old.

The trick is learning how to integrate those two things into an already full day without putting more responsibility on my husband. He's a good one. He works hard at a job he loves and then comes home and helps out around the house. He doesn't begrudge me the time I take to do things that I enjoy or need to do in order to be stronger or more productive.

On the other hand, I know there are things that I don't do often enough. Cleaning the house has never been one of my priorities, but it does need to be done and it is not something that the husband enjoys. So, I have to find a way to integrate those activities into my already pretty packed schedule.

For example, I got up just now and washed up the breakfast dishes and leftover dishes from last night. I'm also working on a survival guide for a course I teach and am supervising coloring time for Turtle. He's alternating between coloring and watching the 'Yardigans.

Woah!

There's been way too much going on in the last few days. I am way, way overloaded at this precise moment. I want to say that I've had a great few days working at home, but I was ready to pull my hair out at about 4p this afternoon.

Turtle took an early nap and I did get a lot done, but then he woke up and all he wanted was Mama. And then he took a second nap later in the afternoon, but when he woke up he screamed for twenty minutes solid.

And still, it's approaching 10p and I have a ton of stuff on my work list. I took time out to say that I'm not dead, and to say that I want to talk about working and balance. Unfortunately, right now, I can say that I don't have balance at all. I'm about ready to ship Turtle up to my mother's for a day or so.

Not having balance is really depressing because I feel like I'm never going to get it back together. When I started this, I felt like I had it all under control and I was going to do great and I would have awesome things to say.

Now, I feel like I'm just not doing the things that I thought I could, but it could be state of mind, I guess. I'm all hormonal and crampy and grouchy.

ARGH!

So yeah, today was supposed to be a busy work day and I was supposed to get a lot of grading done. So far? Yeah, not so much and it's 9:35p and it's not looking good for the rest of the night.

I have got to get at least one paper graded before I go to bed. In the meantime, I listening to a new playlist I made and doing way too much web surfing. This is not productive and this is the best time I have to do stuff. Turtle is sleeping and the husband is watching Pirates for what must be the 100th time. And, not the lovely DVD that we own -- no, he's watching it on USA where he gets all the commercials. Go figure.

I think the problem is if I really acknowledge how much work there is to do, I will lose my mind. So instead, I'm existing in this lovely land of denial where I can pretend there aren't something like 25 papers waiting for me and another 13 grade needing things coming as I am typing this.

And tomorrow is the Colts game which I am apparently going to attempt to work through with wonderful music in my ears and a blindfold on or something so I can't see it. Unless we're doing well -- then I want to see it.

Briefly, About Me

I'm in my late 30s and have one two year old child who will be known as the Turtle here. This is actually one of his many nicknames. He earned this one based on his favorite sleeping position when he was younger. I have been working exclusively from home since August 2005 -- when Turtle was born. I'm married and this is one of those projects that my husband is utterly unaware of -- at this time.

I don't plan to discuss a lot about my husband or even my son. The purpose here is for me to ruminate about working from home in demanding positions with a toddler. I'm lucky because Turtle is a really easy going guy -- for the most part. But, he is two and he definitely shows off his "twoness" at times.

As for my job I teach online at a variety of public, private, for-profit and non-profit institutions. It's not my intention to talk a lot about students or the art and craft of teaching here, either.

My goal is to talk honestly about how I juggle (or don't) the responsibilities of a stay-at-home wife and mother with a toddler and two dogs and the responsibilities of a busy teacher with a number of classes. We'll see how I do. Thanks for reading!